Post by Admin on Dec 22, 2012 5:42:36 GMT -8
Contrary to popular belief, bullying is not and should not be "part of growing up".
I made this post on my personal blog, originally, but due to its complete relevance to school bullying, I wanted to share those same thoughts here. The blog post was written as a response to the following Dr. Phil episode. I'll copy and paste it as follows.
I made a couple comments after watching this video:
1. I gotta say... this episode was weak. Not that Dr. Phil wasn't doing his job properly but rather, he couldn't. It's difficult to approach a conflict without spending a LOT of time digging up the reality of what's happening. Both sides are bound to be defensive and when facing each other, will get aggressive. Let alone the fact that this was on stage with cameras. This episode was weak because the problem did not get solved. I bet those people just went home and continued doing what they did.
2. Reading the comments here was more painful than the video itself. Stop assuming that bullying is a normal, light issue that is a part of growing up. Kids tossing insults at each other once in a while is normal, I'll grant you that but sometimes mob mentality makes things go to the extreme. It's degrading when everyone around you are constantly defining you with negative labels. Social Anxiety Disorder: bullying can produce it. Many would choose to commit suicide. "Has he killed you?" He could.
There's a fine line between receiving distasteful comments about yourself once in a while from some rude people and receiving distasteful comments 24/7 and nobody even wants to be caught dead anywhere near you.
People do have a tendency to take bullying lightly because it seems so general. "Kids picking on each other." That's what people normally see "bullying" as. If that was the actual definition, sure, it is normal. But, unfortunately, it's that and much more. I've written before about how people take my story of social death lightly. I speak of bullying and pretty much everyone can say "me too" and claim that they know how it's like when they haven't even heard the full story yet. Often times, I don't even feel like elaborating because I know it's an ugly, twisted little psychological tale of how to survive despite being socially killed.
What is referred to as "bullying" encompasses extreme cases of ostracism, degrading a person so much that they have SAD (social anxiety disorder), and to an even further extreme: degrading someone so much that they don't even think they deserve to live hence committing suicide. Obviously, the mother of the alleged bully in this video was having a jolly old time teasing and belittling her "opponent". She wasn't there to solve the problem, she was only there to protect the pride of herself and her son. No problem was solved in this video and that was disappointing.
This isn't even the first time a conflict was presented on stage in the Dr. Phil show. Normally, he'd do more homework. Background checks, fact verifications, witnesses, etc. I'll admit that this specific conflict could have a relatively long history of bullying "events", involves a large population of teenagers, and even involves two families confronting each other a number of times. To get the details, one would have to listen to them for days. It seems like Dr. Phil just jumped right in and expected them to be straight and honest about each other and themselves. If everyone was intending to solve the problem, they would probably be willing to do that (or at least try)... but no, it was just one mother pleading for help to stop her daughter's pain and 40 minutes wasn't enough to "settle the score".
I made this post on my personal blog, originally, but due to its complete relevance to school bullying, I wanted to share those same thoughts here. The blog post was written as a response to the following Dr. Phil episode. I'll copy and paste it as follows.
I made a couple comments after watching this video:
1. I gotta say... this episode was weak. Not that Dr. Phil wasn't doing his job properly but rather, he couldn't. It's difficult to approach a conflict without spending a LOT of time digging up the reality of what's happening. Both sides are bound to be defensive and when facing each other, will get aggressive. Let alone the fact that this was on stage with cameras. This episode was weak because the problem did not get solved. I bet those people just went home and continued doing what they did.
2. Reading the comments here was more painful than the video itself. Stop assuming that bullying is a normal, light issue that is a part of growing up. Kids tossing insults at each other once in a while is normal, I'll grant you that but sometimes mob mentality makes things go to the extreme. It's degrading when everyone around you are constantly defining you with negative labels. Social Anxiety Disorder: bullying can produce it. Many would choose to commit suicide. "Has he killed you?" He could.
There's a fine line between receiving distasteful comments about yourself once in a while from some rude people and receiving distasteful comments 24/7 and nobody even wants to be caught dead anywhere near you.
People do have a tendency to take bullying lightly because it seems so general. "Kids picking on each other." That's what people normally see "bullying" as. If that was the actual definition, sure, it is normal. But, unfortunately, it's that and much more. I've written before about how people take my story of social death lightly. I speak of bullying and pretty much everyone can say "me too" and claim that they know how it's like when they haven't even heard the full story yet. Often times, I don't even feel like elaborating because I know it's an ugly, twisted little psychological tale of how to survive despite being socially killed.
What is referred to as "bullying" encompasses extreme cases of ostracism, degrading a person so much that they have SAD (social anxiety disorder), and to an even further extreme: degrading someone so much that they don't even think they deserve to live hence committing suicide. Obviously, the mother of the alleged bully in this video was having a jolly old time teasing and belittling her "opponent". She wasn't there to solve the problem, she was only there to protect the pride of herself and her son. No problem was solved in this video and that was disappointing.
This isn't even the first time a conflict was presented on stage in the Dr. Phil show. Normally, he'd do more homework. Background checks, fact verifications, witnesses, etc. I'll admit that this specific conflict could have a relatively long history of bullying "events", involves a large population of teenagers, and even involves two families confronting each other a number of times. To get the details, one would have to listen to them for days. It seems like Dr. Phil just jumped right in and expected them to be straight and honest about each other and themselves. If everyone was intending to solve the problem, they would probably be willing to do that (or at least try)... but no, it was just one mother pleading for help to stop her daughter's pain and 40 minutes wasn't enough to "settle the score".